Berlin and me

This is a a picture of me in front of the East-Side-Gallery in East-Berlin. It's a part of the Berlin Wall which was painted by artists after the peaceful revolution of 1989.
My boyfried and me did a one day-sightseeing tour and the wall was of course a place I wanted to show him. Although I never lived in Berlin only just in a small town one hour to go by car - Berlin feels close to my mind and heart. Somehow it feels like coming home but then there is still a feeling of strangeness. I quess this is part of my mixed feelings when it comes to topics like homeland" or "being german" or even being born and raised in East Germany and former GDR. All this stuff is not that easy to explain. But I quess, if I had to tell someone what's all that about for me, I would take them to Berlin.

Curious enough, when we visited the "Fernsehturm" I happened to find a shop, that sells original products of East Germany.
For those who can't understand my excitement: this stuff is part of my childhood and also hard to get. Firstly, because I live one thounsand kilometres away from Berlin and secondly because the state of my childhood does not exist anymore. It was more or less erased. After 1989 East Germany tried to catch up to the rest of Germany. This ment rapid modernisation in all fields of society, which is of course a good thing to do and East Germany was desperately in need for restoration.

But somehow this was a "tabula rasa" which swept off even the good parts of people's former lives.
Maybe this is a cause why lots of East Germans feel rather nostalgic about their past. Some people keep saying "It wasn't all bad stuff we had.." and mean that they felt safe and sheltered in these days. Historical facts and personal memories do not always go together as people tend to sugarcoat their views over the years.
So do I. And sometimes I cant help to feel a bit wistful about the good old days, whenever that was.

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